My head is mad. It always invents random tod. For example the other day my mates MGF got TWOKED. He was gutted (god knows why). Anyway, I’ve invented the ultimate security device for cars.
Simple is always best. Bollox to all these stupid diets and powders and healthy soups etc. Why do people get fat? Because they like the taste of food too much.
Rebecca Loos came on the show last month. However, despite all the truly lovely things you may have heard about her, both she and her one eyed dog (in a Burberry carrier bag!?!) got right up me cheech.
If you’ve got a bird this one’s for her. I was in the office at Kerrang and I kept noticing birds walking off to the toilet and then returning no more than 2 minutes later.
I don’t wanna brag but how on earth can you write this without sounding like a smart-arse gammon rod? You see I’ve invented a genuine way to go back in time. Seriously – I’m not sure how far we can go but it’s definitely at least a decade or two.
You’re standing around with a bunch of mates chatting when all of a sudden your phone starts to vibrate in your pocket, “Excuse me lads, let me just get this”........
This is a guaranteed shag with the bird whose whiskers you’ve always wanted to split. That chick that would never usually let you open her cat-flap will be chomping on your bit in no time. Here’s how you do it.
Here’s a fun one to that will make you piss yourself whilst pissing. It’s those good looking dudes in suits that walk through town on their mobiles who annoy me. The ones who approach a Porsche and you think “Please don’t get in to that – go for the Punto beside it” as they unlock the door. The ones that, until now were untouchable and appear to have it all.
Last month we talked of how to catch a cheating girl. So its only fair for this months to be how not to catch a cheating bloke. Now this is my own invention and it does work, so be careful not to get caught out with it – 1.3 million women around the country heard it on my show.
Funk all those “How to become a Millionaire” books – I’ve got a blinder that’ll cost you no more that 2 rats and will make you a mint in a night. All you need for this is a group of mates, a Snickers bar and half a pint of cider. That’s your only investment. Here’s what to do.
My head is mad. It always invents random tod. For example the other day my mates MGF got TWOKED. He was gutted (god knows why). Anyway, I’ve invented the ultimate security device for cars. 
Simple is always best. Bollox to all these stupid diets and powders and healthy soups etc. Why do people get fat? Because they like the taste of food too much. 
Rebecca Loos came on the show last month. However, despite all the truly lovely things you may have heard about her, both she and her one eyed dog (in a Burberry carrier bag!?!) got right up me cheech. 
Right, here is the list of things you need to gather if you’re interested in going back in time. 
If you’ve got a bird this one’s for her. I was in the office at Kerrang and I kept noticing birds walking off to the toilet and then returning no more than 2 minutes later. 
I’ve been doing a spot of global research on mobile phones and whether or not they damage our brains. 
I don’t wanna brag but how on earth can you write this without sounding like a smart-arse gammon rod? You see I’ve invented a genuine way to go back in time. Seriously – I’m not sure how far we can go but it’s definitely at least a decade or two. 
You’re standing around with a bunch of mates chatting when all of a sudden your phone starts to vibrate in your pocket, “Excuse me lads, let me just get this”........ 
This is a guaranteed shag with the bird whose whiskers you’ve always wanted to split. That chick that would never usually let you open her cat-flap will be chomping on your bit in no time. Here’s how you do it. 
Here’s a fun one to that will make you piss yourself whilst pissing. It’s those good looking dudes in suits that walk through town on their mobiles who annoy me. The ones who approach a Porsche and you think “Please don’t get in to that – go for the Punto beside it” as they unlock the door. The ones that, until now were untouchable and appear to have it all. 
Last month we talked of how to catch a cheating girl. So its only fair for this months to be how not to catch a cheating bloke. Now this is my own invention and it does work, so be careful not to get caught out with it – 1.3 million women around the country heard it on my show. 
Funk all those “How to become a Millionaire” books – I’ve got a blinder that’ll cost you no more that 2 rats and will make you a mint in a night. All you need for this is a group of mates, a Snickers bar and half a pint of cider. That’s your only investment. Here’s what to do.
